The holidays are fast approaching and with it come the expectation to top the previous years celebration. As a parent, it’s natural to want to shower our little ones with only the best. Their excitement for the season is contagious after all. The hype that gets tacked on to this annual holiday is almost inescapable, with the expectation to create a lavish affair.
It’s exhausting at best.
The pressure is everywhere. From songs filled with ‘me’ sentiment (All I want for Christmas), to commercials depicting enormous spreads of food and trees made up entirely of gifts (Macy’s perfume, anyone?) to movies loaded with the message that Christmas denotes getting. And getting a lot.
But is that commercial sentiment really the message you want to leave your children with this year?
A quick search at the statistics show that the holiday season is rife with struggle. Divorce, seasonal illness, and depression all skyrocket.
And children, the prime target for the commercial drive, aren’t the easiest to manage during this period either.
During my weekly grocery run I observed the dynamic of various children perusing the asile. Exhausted parents attempting to pick up dinner after a hectic day with children tugging at their arms. “But I WANT it.” “You know so-and-so from my class said their mom is buying them one!” “Pleeeease? Just once?” “Hey! You promised!”
It’s enough to drive any parent to exhaustion.
But what if: what if we made the season about giving?
It sounds incomprehensible but it’s doable.
Drawing from a memory I had as a child: When the holidays rolled around, instead of handing out wish-lists my mother sat us down and showed us a collection of pictures. Some were people, a few were locations where it was evident people had less than us. We were presented with the option: Instead of working towards buying ourselves something, why didn’t we focus on giving someone else a happy Christmas?
And so we did.
During the 12 days leading up to Christmas we each selected a person and focused our energies on brightening their day. A surprise holiday card. A box of toys we no longer used gift wrapped for the less fortunate. A cold drink bought at a gas station and left for the homeless man parked nearby. Allowance money pooled together and put towards buying toiletries and treats for the local orphanage. Raiding our own cupboards for books and clothing we had purchased on a whim and barely, if ever, used.
When I think back to it, it’s amazing how many things can accumulate in one household. Especially so if there are more than one child. I recall my parents going through bags of clothing, toys, stationary and shoes. So many things that had been either purchased or gifted and laid to collect dust at the backs of our closets or in storage.
The giving spree was a gamechanger.
Instead of stockings filled with treats we would use for a day then forget about for the remainder of the year, we pitched in to fill them with necessities for a local charity. I remember to this day the feeling of value as I proudly packed trail mix, clean socks, vitamins and a toothbrush in a fur trimmed stocking that I had once used.
We distributed the items without fanfare. In the age before cell phones and social media, there were no posts on Facebook to garner likes and shares. No filters to upload to Instagram for the validation of strangers seeing me #doingmypart or #soblessedtogive . It would have seemed trite and superficial if we had.
Of course, we celebrated Christmas at home, and gifts were duly passed around the family circle. However, the feeling of accomplishment, and the knowledge that my contribution had gone towards giving someone else a happy holiday outweighed the short term excitement of receiving a gift remained with me for years after.
The concept of giving back was one I was delighted to incorporate at DK Schoolhouse
. For 10 years running, DK Schoolhouse has initiated a giving drive and the start of the holiday season. Despite the excitement of preparing for Christmas and its annual winter party, teachers work with students as young as 3 years old to understand the deeper meaning behind the holiday and brainstorm ways to make the holiday a brighter place for someone else.
This year, as our students and teachers are busy brainstorming where to best lend a hand, why not start preparing your child for a “Season of Giving” by:
- Curbing Overspending
While it’s easy, and feels nice, to give in to the wishes of your child for a new toy, or extra slice of cake, try and set a family goal for spending this holiday season. Help your child understand the distinction between what they truly need vs. what just happens to be catching their eye in the supermarket.
- Another Kind of Christmas
At the beginning of the month, sit down with your child(ren) and plan out a few ways you’re going to make a change in your holiday festivites. It doesn’t have to be anything major. You can start with simple activities like rounding up unused toys and clothing to give away, or saving that weekly ice cream budget to use on giving out boxes of food or water.
All it takes is one little act of kindness. And, it could start with you.
-- LS
